Prologue
Many things in this text that might look strange are made strange intentionally. For instance author explicitly wrote names of countries,nations and separate people not from a capital letter to show his own personal disrespect to them.
Incorrect: Russia
Correct: russia
Incorrect: Vladimir Putin
Correct: putin khuilo
Many times seen and discussed by people all around the world, the nation-wide character traits of people living on the nation-owned territories. Some prefer to think that human peculiarities are not influenced by nation and territory they were growing on, other, vis-a-vis, prefer to define influence of your nation on you as inevitable.
Author of this text is not a well-educated psychologist(I’m a DevOps Engineer and Information Security enthusiast from Ukraine, Lviv, former Kyiv resident), so conclusions of mine will be backed by personal observations rather then well-written and recognized scientific material.
In the 2014, Ukrainians were strongly exposed to the theses of russian propaganda, because as a long 8 years ago(by the time this article is written), notorious russian invasion into Ukraine begun, propaganda of vodka and balalaika-lovers started to mint into their minds that Ukraine and Ukrainians are “fictional” and tend to discriminate other minorities living on the territories of modern Ukraine.
You might say: “Wait a minute! Theses, you’ve just mentioned are typical russia-backed propaganda that they try to spread all around the world, before invading into any other country under the pretext of ‘protecting russian-speaking population'”, and you’ll be totally right. Example of Georgia is good one and shows that russian propaganda with all its absurdness and fiction, strongly lacks creativity and exploits same topics as decade ago during Georgia invasion or centuries ago during countless invasions of USSR while trying to establish “buffer zone” between totalitarian trash cans of previous century and civilized nations. The most ridiculous thing about mentioned zombiefication is how it presented to the russians internally. Fictional news stories and reports, that might have come to the heads of their authors only under the influence of heavy drugs, and multimillion herd of submissive sheeps that do not question anything that TV shows them.
Strong note: Author brings his apologies to the sheeps all over the world, for this humiliating comparison of sheeps to russians. No doubt that sheeps are clever creatures and, unlike russians, are able to distinguish fiction from reality.
When I saw all the absurdness of russian internal government-backed propaganda first time, it was also the first time when I thought of a nation-wide stupidity so strongly inherent to the Mordor Lands russia inhabitants.
Scale of russians Stupidity
I’ve deliberately mentioned about illiteracy of typical “schi-eater” as the scale of this illiteracy and emotional immaturity covers entire russian federation territory without omitting even a single inhabitant.
To add a bit of fun to this extremely truthful hate speech, let me quickly introduce you to the fauna that inhabits modern Mordor Lands. russia is represented by the multiple types of creatures:
- Soviet-lover(“Sovok”) homeless stalkers
- “Outside the politics” money-driven chameleons
- russian Teddy Bear opposition
- Orthodox (choose a variant: pedophile/cannibal/narcissist/maniac) cultists
- russian squatter(aka “Gopnik”)
- Government and oligarchs
All this families of creatures have one spare trait: they are ready to tolerate any oppression, eat hay(or shit, if hay is in deficit due to economical sanctions) for years, if you persuade them that due to this oppressions, they’ll become greatest nation in the world.
Soviet-lover homeless stalker or “Sovok”
Hostile mob that can be neutral only to another Sovok. There no alliance exist inside russia to which sovok can be friendly. Due to the long homeless life, they’re massively used to feed themselves from trash cans. Nutritious orts and rotten flesh of dead pigeons and ravens found there give them endless energy stock, to use it for discussing with other members of this affiliation “how good it was in the soviet union”. If you by accident mention that USSR was shitty place, they’re instantly become hostile and agressive and attack you to defeat you and eat your brain, as a result, turning you into another Sovok. The most numerous alliance at the lands of Mordor.
“Outside the politics” money-driven chameleons
Very specific creatures. Have no PvP mode and massively pretend to be neutral(or friendly where possible) to all other groups found in the Mordor, however, in reality, they hate everyone(even members of their own alliance). Life support system in their bodies is very unusual and requires money in a very big amounts. They are feeded with money, they use money as their single provider of leisure and use money to solve each and every problem that arises on their path. The more money you publicly waste – the more honorable chameleon you become.
The main peculiarity of their behavior is revealed when russia invades any other country. As soon as russian government establishes control over the territory, despite all the prohibitions and laws of the civilized world, chameleons arrive to the annexed territory and state that: “all this war thing is a politics, and we are not involved into any kind of politics, so we will be traveling to the annexed territories and earn money there”. Calling wars that russia starts “the political tensions between two governments”, they then arrive to the newly annexed lands and show “all their love” to their president(of course for money they’re being paid be the president).
russian “Teddy Bear” opposition
Quite big fraction who is less poor then sovoks, but still they’re living below the poverty line. They have their own religion of praying to Alexey Navalny – so called “russian oppositioner”, who, for his softness, was called “Teddy Bear oppositioner”. While doing nothing to improve their level of life, fraction members believe that when Navalny will come to the power instead of vladimir putin(aka khuilo), they will live a good life(which of course will never happen because of lack of brains in the alliance members). Creatures do not have any PvP mode, which prevents them from defending themselves when police beats them up for the organized protests against government.
Orthodox cultists
Very religious alliance. Only two things scare them in this world: wrath of God and wrath of kirill the patriach – leader of the cult on the terrain of Mordor. Members of the cult are specially chosen ones by the patriach to live in a blatant luxury, wrap themselves in the fabrics, covered with gold and bless war actions and terror that russian government sows all over the world. In their inner world, they’re strong supporters of such things like narcissism, pedophilia, cannibalism and suffer from maniacal disfunction. one of the smallest alliances in the russia, but still very dangerous due to absence of any human emotions inside their members.
russian squatter(aka “Gopnik”)
Very widely spread alliance. Takes second place by numerosity after “sovoks”. Alliance aggressive to all other alliances(even to other gopniks). Poor in the same way as typical sovok, but instead of searching food at the trash cans, they instantly enter into PvP with all other inhabitants of Mordor and after defeating them, they take away their food and money. Despite being hostile to each other, some gopniks may unite into small groups to increase their combat power and then split the prey equally. If no other creatures are in their sight, they remain in the idle state. While remaining in the idle state, they take a very specific pose of squatting low to the ground without touching ground with their buttocks(please refer to the image above as an illustration).
Government and oligarchs
The smallest and the most rich and powerful group in the lands of Mordor. It curates all the terrorism that russia is involved in, make sure that other fractions remain stupid and uninformed, fools the population with myths of “russian greatness” and keeps dissatisfaction of other groups with their actions on the controlled level. Group controls all the money in the land and carefully dose them to the chameleons and cultists, asking for the public support in return.
High-level look at the mentioned groups of creatures
Despite differences in appearance and behavior, creatures in russia can be split into two groups: rich ones and poor ones(no middle class there guys).
Poor ones consist of:
- Sovoks
- “Teddy Bear” opositioners
- Gopniks
They are making up 99% of russian population and they possess with 1% of russia material richness.
Rich ones consist of:
- Chameleons
- Orthodox cultists
- Government and oligarchs
They are making only 1% of russian population, but posess with 99% of material richness of russia.
Every human at the lands that russia invades, almost instantly turns into the member of mentioned group. If you’re greedy, cruel and have a bit of creativity, then you have a chance of becoming a rich one. If you’re hard-working, open-minded and sincere, you risk getting into poor group.
Here goes the conclusion…
After presenting you to the lifestyle in russia and their inhabitants and what happens to those of us who find themselves under occupation of russia, it’s time for you to decide if you’re wishing to be transformed into one of those characters, mentioned above.
It might not be obvious at the first sight, but things described above, that you might have(or might have not) found a bit funny for yourself are made more funny when you realize that they are really truthful and I have described life in russia ‘as-is’. Its only fun to be looking at those things from side. Being a part of this is the scariest then any horror you might have imagined in your head which seems infinite.
Europe have to understand that putin won’t stop after conquering Ukraine, he will advance towards into Poland, Germany, France and won’t stop unless being shot in the head.
So I urge you to help Ukraine to protect not only our independence but a peaceful life of all civilized world that Ukrainians currently protect by sacrificing lives of the best of us.
- Close the sky over Ukraine!
- Apply more and more economical sanctions to Russia to make them feel consequences of their actions.
- Help civilians to survive in this hard times.
Reference
Sovok(Ukr. совок) – scoop used to collect all the garbage after sweeping the floor. By analogy with USSR enjoyers who, like scoops, collected all the garbage present in USSR informational field.
Gopnik – popular name for the low-profile criminals that usually engaged with petty thefts to then use them to get some beers.
Schi – russian national dish, made from who knows what. Recipe emerged by the principle: “Put everything that we have at home Vasya!”